Shit my Family Says

(I’m trying to talk to my mother about Digipen college)

Me: “So it’s a really cool art based school that I was looking into an-“

Brother: *Walking by us and says loudly* “DIGI-pennnnnnnn!”

Me: *Glares and keeps trying to talk* “So I was thinking we could visit Digipen thi-“

Brother: *Walking by us again* “DIGI-pennnnnnnn!”

Me: *sighs* “Barring further distraction Digipen has a-“

Brother: *Walking by yet again* “DIGI-pennnnnnnn!”

(This happens another three or four times)

Brother: *Walking by us and say loudly* “DIGI-pennnnnnnn!”

Me:  ”Bloody hell!” *Flails and points out of the kitchen and down the hall.* “GO!”

Brother: *Flails and scurries away like cartoon character*

Mother: “You know, he’s like the weird little anime character with the cat. *Makes a face and puts her rith-angle arms out to the sides* “MAHHHHH!”

(My brother is telling me about why he got pulled out of class at school today.)

Brother: “So I have this boy in my class who won’t shut up. His name is Sebastion and he sits next to me so I can’t ever hear whet the teacher’s saying. But he was gone today so I started singing

“I can hear clearly now Sebastion’s gone

I can hear all assignments in my class

Gone are the loud shouts that had me deaf

It’gonna be a bright, bright, sunshiny day!”

But I got in trouble for singing, though my teacher couldn’t stop laughing at it.”

(Scrolling through this blog with my little brother.)

Brother: “Has anyone submitted..?”

Me: “No not yet but I do have one follower.”

Brother: “Is their name Fletcher?”

Me: “No, that’s the name of the person who designed the theme. I wouldn’t know the name of the fol-“

Brother: “Do they have any relation to anyone named Fletcher?”

Me: “I don’t know..”

Brother: “Then their existence is pointless. Moving on.”

Me: O.o ……?

(I was playing Hearts with my family. We’ve all played before but none of us are great.)

Dad: Who has the two of clubs?

Brother: Two of what?

Dad: Clubs.

Brother: Which ones are clubs?

Dad: The ones that look like clovers.

Brother: OH! The two of stylized broccoli!

The rest of us: …