Shit my Family Says

(My brother is telling me about why he got pulled out of class at school today.)

Brother: “So I have this boy in my class who won’t shut up. His name is Sebastion and he sits next to me so I can’t ever hear whet the teacher’s saying. But he was gone today so I started singing

“I can hear clearly now Sebastion’s gone

I can hear all assignments in my class

Gone are the loud shouts that had me deaf

It’gonna be a bright, bright, sunshiny day!”

But I got in trouble for singing, though my teacher couldn’t stop laughing at it.”

(I was playing Hearts with my family. We’ve all played before but none of us are great.)

Dad: Who has the two of clubs?

Brother: Two of what?

Dad: Clubs.

Brother: Which ones are clubs?

Dad: The ones that look like clovers.

Brother: OH! The two of stylized broccoli!

The rest of us: …